Space For God

There's a lot of talk about the death of religion these days. And while official Church attendance may be in decline, I remain unconvinced that religion will soon be a thing of the past. Here's one way the central themes of religion manifest themselves in pop-culture.

The Cult of the Rock Concert:

The congregation assemble, a sea of long hair, leather pants and cut off denim jackets. The atmosphere is thick with the air of expectation and religious fervour. They have come here to worship.

The Church announcements begin in the form of a support band. They are called ‘The Deadbeats’ and their function is to remind the audience how great the headline band is. They are received with not much more than polite indifference. Perhaps this particular brand of chuga-chug rock was lost on a congregation expecting a transcendental experience. What this congregation really yearned for was the appearance of the almighty Deity. The Deity promises 2 hours of pure spiritual ecstacy.

But before the Deity appears the congregation must have their Eucharist. They are anticipating the immanent arrival of the Deity by consuming the liquid of life, which happens to be a Lager from Victoria. After consuming the Holy lager (some more than others) they are feeling particularly unified and strangely free from inhibition. They are ready to submit to the will of the Deity. They are ready to be led.

Then the house lights suddenly dim, and smoke emerges from the side of the stage. The stragglers rush to find their seats, and fights break out as many find that their spot’ has been taken by another. This is particularly evident toward the front, as people quickly snap up and free seats in an attempt to get closer to the action.

After a lengthy introduction of about 10 minutes the Deity arrives and launches into His first song. The people scream the words and claw at each other to get to the front of stage, losing all sense of reason and rationality. The congregation don’t really know what they’re singing of course. That is not the point. It just feels good to be part of such a dynamic corporate experience. At one point the band drops out and the drummer is left to carry the beat. This is known as the Sacrament of audience response. The Deity pleads with the congregation to ‘get their freakin’ hands in the air!’ He needn’t have bothered, as they had been wildly clapping since He first descended from above, with the aid of a safety harness of course. But tonight clapping is not enough. The Deity wants more. He commands the congregation to repeat after him ‘Alrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhht’. They obligingly reply, having banished all resistance long ago. The Deity goes again ‘I said Hell Yeah!

‘Hell Yeah’ they scream, with much camaraderie spirit.

On and on the ritual goes, each time the Deity commanding a louder response. It culminates in a call to ‘blow the roof of this place!’ which, with the exception of a few conservative literalists, most interpret metaphorically.

Eventially the service draws to a close. The congregation are bid farewell until next time. As the Congregation exit the arena they visit the Merchandise stand and purchase official Deity T-shirts, which allow them to relive the experience and recognise other worshippers on the street. The only people left in the building are the conservatives, who are trying to figure out a way to dislodge the roof of the arena with nothing but vocal chords.